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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286318">In Vino Veritas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieronymus_Jackson/pseuds/Hieronymus_Jackson'>Hieronymus_Jackson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate/Grand Order, The Room (2003)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotions, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Character, Other, Platonic Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:27:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieronymus_Jackson/pseuds/Hieronymus_Jackson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely a university AU.</p><p>To celebrate the coming of the New Year, Kama and Ash drink and hash out emotions over The Room.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Vino Veritas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! This is my caffeine-fueled fic featuring Kama and Ash. I have chosen to characterize them as university students, but if that's not a vibe, then references to university are sparing. I love Kama and Ash, and hope I did them some justice. Hope you enjoy!</p><p>Shout out to ricoririsu and erythea for feeding this NB delicious Kama headcanons!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Rama, you fucking <em> idiot! </em> Do you even want to win? Stop throwing! <em> Stop rushing B! </em> ” Ash pauses. “‘Git gud?’ <em> Git gud </em> ? You fucking <em> punk </em> , don’t act like you have any ELO worth tanking.” He takes a hearty swig of beer. “Yeah, screw you too. Go cry to Sita, I’m sick of hearing your voice.” He hangs up the voice call, tosses his headphones down onto his keyboard, and leans back in his gaming chair.</p><p>“Are ya winning, struggle king?” Someone’s voice drifts over lazily. Ash’s irritation instantly evaporates, to be replaced with a bone-deep chill. He sits up and slowly turns around.</p><p>“What the hell? Kama? How long have you been there?”</p><p>Kama continues to melt into the bean bag. “Long enough. I got here at five. You know, like we agreed on.”</p><p>Ash checks his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>5:45</em> </b>
</p><p><em><br/></em> <em> Missed alarm, 4:45<br/></em> <em> Missed alarm, 5:00 </em> <em><br/></em> <em> 3 missed calls, </em> <b> <em>Kama</em> </b></p><p>
  <em>Kama, 5:00 - yo im here<br/>Kama, 5:10 - bitch<br/></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Both of them take a moment to fully digest Ash’s abysmal hospitality thus far.</p><p>“Uh, I-I’m sorry, dude. Really, I mean it,” he starts.</p><p>Kama gazes at him as if he were a worm rotting in the sun, then sighs. “Don’t worry, it’s about what I’ve come to expect from you.” He wonders whether to consider that as praise or as an insult. “And yes, that was an insult. By the way, toss me that Aggretsuko plushie?”</p><p>Ash obliges. “Did Karna let you in?”</p><p>“Yeah. He gets back from the lab at 5:30, consistently. Because he knows how to keep a god damned schedule.” Ash makes a mental note to buy his housemate dinner next week.</p><p>Kama leans into the plushie. “You didn’t have this last time I was over. Have you finally begun to develop a taste for interior decoration?” Ash continues to be somewhat affronted.</p><p>“Well, no. Par gave me—” Kama immediately ejects the plush onto the opposite wall, knocking down a particularly nice painting of a banana tree. There goes Rama’s art project from last semester. “—that one.”</p><p>Ash pauses. “Got something against Aggretsuko?”</p><p>“Nothing against her, personally. Aggretsuko’s a certified, Grade A Queen. Par, on the other hand, is Queen Thot. I simply want to be nowhere near anything that’s touched her grubby little hands.”</p><p>Ash takes an even sip of his beer. “You know, she’s still sorry about—”</p><p>“Don’t wanna hear it. If her asshole of a boyfriend wants to apologize for hitting me with his fucking car, taking away a year of my life, and destroying my relationship, he can do it himself. He can start by giving me a monthly sum of $500 on Venmo, titled, ‘Reparations’. A ‘thank you’ every now and then wouldn’t hurt, either.” They roll over. “Fuck those two and fuck their happiness. God, just thinking about them is bad for my blood pressure. Got any of those edibles on hand you were bragging about?”</p><p>Said edibles had already been consumed two nights ago over a particularly deep watchthrough of “Comrade in America”.</p><p>Kama must have been able to read it on his face, as they pinch the bridge of their nose and sharply exhale. “<em>Madarchod</em>. Ash, you are prescribing <em> so much </em> good faith tonight that I’m surprised you’re not a pharmacist."</p><p>“To be fair, is there anyone else who you’d be hanging out with this New Year’s Eve? Vritra went home for break, and Andersen’s probably blacked out over the space bar right now.”</p><p>Kama glowers, and Ash puts his hands up. “Fine, fine. I at least have some <em> sabudana khichdi </em> left over, if you’re hungry. As for alcohol, I got my beers and bourbon. Karna also has some vodka, plum wine, and soju lying around. He won’t mind us snatching some, since he drinks like, once a month. And I think Li also left some baijiu from the last time he dropped by.”</p><p>“...Fine,” Kama relents. “I expect to get fucked up tonight. We’ll be greeting 2019, after all. Think you can keep up with me?” They smirk.</p><p>Ash bears his teeth in a feral grin. “<em>You’re </em> the one who’s gotta keep up with <em> me </em>.”</p><p>“Bring it on, <em> bhosdike.</em>”</p><p>“Come on then, let’s head to the living room.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>They put up The Room on the living room TV, after a few cans of beer and glasses of plum wine. (<em> “An absolute unit, a masterpiece of cinema,” Kama called it. </em> )</p><p>In addition to miscellaneous alcohols and drinking vessels thereof, there were two half-eaten plates of <em> sabudana khichdi </em> strewn across the coffee table, in addition to a tray of dino nuggets. Ash does not remember preparing any of said nuggets, but his stomach tells him not to question this.</p><p>“Kama, I’m gonna be straight up with you,” Ash starts, gulping down a triceratops head as a chaser.</p><p>“Go ahead,” Kama says absentmindedly, focusing on Chris R holding Danny at gunpoint, demanding his money.</p><p>“Do you feel safe around me?”</p><p>Kama pauses the film as Tommy Wiseau steps onto the scene.</p><p>“Well, do you think I would come by your place and get wasted if I didn’t?” Kama doesn’t meet Ash’s eyes, reaching for a pterodactyl.</p><p>“I didn’t hear a yes or a no in that answer.”</p><p>“...Yes,” Kama decides.</p><p>“Are you sure?” He raises an eyebrow. “You can be honest. I won’t bite.”</p><p>“...No,” Kama confesses.</p><p>Ash sighs. “Well, can’t say I’m surprised. I know you haven’t had the best experiences around my...family, you could say. If you wanna call it now, I can have Karna drop you off at your place,” He offers. “If you, uh, haven’t been feeling it tonight, I’m sorry. For what it’s worth.”</p><p>“...Don’t say that. I’ll take apologies for literally anything else, Ash, but don’t apologize for things out of your control. You couldn’t choose which family you were born to, and which...traits you’d pick up.” Kama begins to count the tiles on the floor. “I understand that you’re just naturally, you know, a fiery guy. And by all means you should own that. You get real excited and competitive and shouty about, most things. If you didn’t finish first place, then you’ll be first the next time around. It’s just...it’s a bit much for me sometimes. Every now and then I just feel. Burned, yeah? Around you. It, uh, reminds me of <em> him </em> …” They trail off. “Sorry, that was nonsense. I blame the alcohol.” It was not the alcohol.</p><p>Ash, for his part, nods along.</p><p>“Thanks for the honesty, really. It takes guts to open up like that, and on top of that around someone like me. Props to you—”</p><p>“Stop it. Shut up. No. Not one more word.” Kama is definitely flushed from the alcohol and not embarrassment. (Once again, it was not the alcohol.) “Affirmation is <em> not </em> your love language, so don’t bend yourself over for me. Just do the you thing.”</p><p>“...What a 180. Anyway, point is, I’d like to be a better friend for you,” he starts carefully. “For me, the difference between a friend and an acquaintance, is that a friend improves who you are—are you okay?”</p><p>Kama’s face is buried tightly in their hands. “Don’t look at me. I’ll be better in five minutes, you can set a timer. I’m still listening. Just, if you look this way, I’ll actually kill you,” They say, muffled.</p><p>“...As I was saying, friends help you grow as a person and change in better ways. I’m grateful for everyone I got, each of them have their own niche. But all of them have similar energy, you know. Beowulf, Rama, Li, Kintoki, Karna, Karna’s brother…”</p><p>“—Even Karna?”</p><p>“Oh, man. Karna might not have much to say, but lemme tell you, his competitive streak is <em> way </em> worse than mine,” Ash laughs. “I’ll have to tell you some stories later.”</p><p>“I’ll hold you to that,” Kama hazards a chuckle. “Now, go back to mouthing off and looking away from me.”</p><p>“Mm. You’re someone who helps me to slow down and take inventory. Sure, I <em> can </em> rush through life at light speeds and burn past everything in my way, but there are other ways of doing things. Other ways of settling differences. Anyone who can help me realize that is someone worth treasuring. So, Kama. Again, I’d like to do my part. I consider you a friend, and, you know, it’s a hundred percent okay if you don’t consider me the same. But, in either case, I’d like to know which things set you off so I can avoid them, and which things you’d like to see more from me.”</p><p>Kama is silent. A long minute passes.</p><p>Then, “Jesus <em> fuck </em>, Ash. Absolutely no one who owns a gamer chair has a right to be that good an orator. It’s a sin, Ash. A <em> sin </em> . Apologize for saying that right now. And how the hell are you not hammered?”</p><p>Honestly, a good question.</p><p>Kama continues, “Anyway, I appreciate this conversation a lot. And, no matter my hangups, you’re a hundred percent, infinitely, better than <em> that guy </em> . Even though I’m regrettably way more gone than you, trust me on it. I’ll continue this when I’m sober and can go back to bullying you.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Ash reaches for another nugget, but accidentally knocks over Karna’s vodka. It shatters on the floor. Well, it seems that the alcohol had finally begun to set in.</p><p>Karna, who had just so happened to peek outside at that moment to grab a snack, drank in the scene before him. “I’ll add that to the tab. And, that’s now two dinners you owe me next week.”</p><p>“<em>Bhenchod!</em>”</p><p>“House rules, Ash. You break it, you buy it.”</p><p>Kama throws their head back and belts out a full-throated laugh.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>“You are tearing me apart, Lisa!”</em>
</p><p>The new year comes to pass, and Kama decides, <em> this is fine </em> . Ash is both charmed and horrified with the tripartite juxtaposition between shoddy production quality, high budget, and raw artistic genius. In his raving, he doesn’t notice the deluge of texts wishing him a happy new year.</p><p>Kama resists the urge to send a picture to the group chat, and instead savors the moment.</p><p>
  <em> Yes, this is fine. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The screen was paused on Tommy Wiseau’s dead body. Ash considers turning it off, but at the moment he was too lazy to reach over to the remote. He decides to sink further into the couch.</p><p>“I miss Rati,” Kama murmurs.</p><p>“Tommy Wiseau has our local ‘God of Love’ in a mood? That’s news to me.”</p><p>“Shut up, man. I mean it.”</p><p>“Then tell <em> her </em> that, not me,” Ash retorts. “She still loves you.”</p><p>“You don’t <em> get </em> it,” Kama insists. “Rati really tried, bless her soul. She gave Par’s guy so much shit after what happened. I wish I was conscious for that. But, things just weren’t the same. I’m a goddamn mess, Ash.” The aforementioned could only nod in agreement. Kama stops. “Asshole, this is the part where you reassure and validate me.”</p><p>Ash shrugs nonchalantly, “Sorry, my love language isn’t affirmation, you said as much. You were saying?”</p><p>“Screw you. <em> But </em> , as I was saying—"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"..Rati’s so bright. She’s brilliant. She has <em> so much </em> ahead of her, and one day she’ll reach the stars. Me? Everything I had going for me was and still is in tatters. I understand that for now not having me around is painful, but long term it’ll be better for her not to drag around dead weight.”</p><p>“...You’re a marble-brained brat who cares way too much for their own good. I won’t pretend to understand you here. But, what I <em> can </em> do,” Ash says, handing them a shot glass, “—is drink to that. Chin up, dude.”</p><p>“<em>Cheers.</em>”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ash wakes up. The first thing he notices is that he is still drunk. The second is that the TV is no longer on. Kama must have turned it off. The third is that it’s 5:45 in the morning, if he’s reading the numbers on his phone correctly.</p><p>Almost on cue, pure bodily discomfort sets in. On one hand, the deep chill of January had seeped into the house and enveloped him from toe to tip. On the other hand, there was something incredibly warm over half his body, and his right shoulder was sore. He wriggled his right arm to life, shaking out the radio static. “ <em> Fuck me </em>,” he groans, realizing that Kama had fallen asleep over him. He gets up, leaving them to unceremoniously flop into the now-empty space.</p><p>“<em>Dumbass,</em>” Ash whispers. He leaves the living room briefly and stumbles back in with a blanket, a water bottle, a spare toothbrush, and a tube of toothpaste. He tosses the former item over Kama, and clears some space on the table for the others.</p><p>“<em>Happy New Year, or something like that.</em>”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The morning light assaults Kama’s eyelids. Almost like the headlights on—</p><p>They chug the water bottle. They didn’t even consciously know that there <em> was </em> a water bottle, but such trifles do not matter for a parched throat demanding hydration after a night of heavy drinking.</p><p>The first thing they notice is that they’re in a blanket. And then, that there’s a toothbrush and —</p><p>“Aw, <em> fuck me</em>. <em> I’m not gonna live this down, am I? </em>”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ash is better at fighting games, and is a bit out of his depth with FPS games like CS:GO. He won't be the first to admit that, though.</p><p>And yes, in this AU Shiva hit Kama with a car in lieu of burning them to cosmic ash. No, I will not explain this.</p><p>Notes:<br/>-In Vino Veritas: Latin for, "in wine lies truth". This is a placeholder title which I dislike and will probably change when I think of a better one.</p><p>-Aggretsuko is a Sanrio character who deals with anger issues and the soul-crushing reality of the modern Japanese workplace.</p><p>-Comrade in America: "A young man in Kerala has two weeks to stop the woman he loves from a fixed marriage in the U.S., but he doesn't have the papers to get there." A Malayalam-language action/comedy/drama film, and very Communist-flavored comedy at that.</p><p>-Madarchod/Bhenchod: typical North Indian swears, roughly equivalent to "fuck/shit", but can also be used as an insult for a person. The literal translations are "motherfucker" and "sisterfucker", respectively.</p><p>-Bhosdike: similar to the above, roughly equivalent to "cunt".</p><p>-The Room is a 2003 movie by Tommy Wiseau. It had a $6 million budget and a $1800 box office. A cult classic called by some "the best worst movie ever".</p><p>-Sabudana Khichdi: a very popular and simple dish in Indian states including Maharashtra. Wikipedia describes it as tapioca peals "fried with cumin seeds, salt, red chili powder, green chillies, diced potatoes and other optional ingredients such as fried peanuts." Ashvatthaman is described as a Maharathi, which does not have explicit links with the Indian state of Maharashtra, but I have chosen to characterize Ash as a Marathi for the purposes of this fic.</p><p>-Rati is the consort of Kamadeva in actual mythology. They loved each other very much, and may/not have gotten married in the next life as reincarnations.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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